Gender dysphoria is a common term thrown around between trans people and medical professionals. Gender identity disorder is a conflict between a person’s physical sex and the gender he or she identifies as. For example, a person born as a boy may actually feel and identify like a girl. The person is very uncomfortable with the gender they were born. Due to this paradigm, a state of gender dysphoria can occur within trans individuals. I never knew the exact meaning of gender dysphoria until recently. Before I looked up the meaning, the context clues that defined the meaning to me was that gender dysphoria was as a state of being disassociated, dissatisfied, even angry with your physical body and identity. I would hear people described this hatred for their bodies that was so strong they could not even look in the mirror. In some cases, this hate for their physical form would lead to incidents of self-castration or mutilation. I met a girl in my travels that put herself in a tub filled with ice, a sharp exacto knife, and 911 on speed dial. Since she could not get the castration the legit way due to lack of finances, she went the DIY way.

WHOA! After being rush from a bloody tub to the emergency room, she incredibly succeeded in two things: castrating herself and solidifying herself as a complete basket case to me and others. One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest.  As a transperson, I never experience that extreme kind of gender dysphoria. When I looked in the mirror in my youth, I did not hate what I saw. It was not what I wanted it to see but it was not something that brought me disparaging anger or sadness toward myself. I valued my looks then and now. My mother instilled a self esteem in me by  making me feel smart and attractive. She was on some “you is kind ,you is smart, you is important” type stuff lol.  I knew that once I started my transition, also known as living my truth, my body would have to change to fit the identity I wanted to project to the world. I knew that this would be a process. How long of a process? I was not for sure. I didnt know how much any thing associated with transitioning  would cost or how to obtain any of those things. I just had a mission and direction to go. I just stepped out on faith in a cute wig for hair, bra filled with Victoria Secret jelly cutlets for boobs, and sculpted foam pads for hips and ass.  I made these fake things work until I slowly but surely made all them better and more real. Each milestone was a celebration. I celebrated progression toward the ending. I think that was key to overcoming depression about not actually being at the finish line. The focus on not being complete leads to asking myself: Why me? Why is/did this happening to me?Is this fair? etc. Falling into a deep dark hole of finding someone or something to blame for all the negative that come from not being one’s perfect physical self. Celebrating current progress shifts the mindset to a positive, in-the-moment state of mind.  I may not have my hormone but I celebrate I have some cute girl clothes. I may not have my breasts but I celebrate, I have my hormones. I may not have my vagina but I celebrate I have my breasts, and so on. I think this mindset can be translated in any one life include non trans people  also known as cisgender. Whatever your goal is, dont focus on how far you are away right now . Focus on how much more closer you are to the goal from last week. Celebrate your progression now.