I would be lying if I said that the escort business did not benefit me. I would not be who I am today without it. It funded surgeries, hormones, and my education,at some point even my next meal. I started in the business out of necessity. I got fired for being trans at a job. I had custody of my brother. I had my pride motivation me to not fail at raising my brother because I knew people were looking at the scenario in a negative light just because I was trans. So I was broke lookin for a job with bills due when a friend sent me a client to help me out. It was the easiest money I had ever made. The rest was history. I was makin money in amounts that a lil ghetto girl like my self never had seen. I could buy whatever I wanted at store for me and my brother, pay all bills and not have to wait til me next check two week later, travel to place I never been, and live a life I was not accustom to living. Ironically, I was one of those girl that turned my nose up to people that engaged in prostitution( I did start calling it escorting until i was in the business…lol). You have to love a good old euphemism. I would look at them with disgust and get and attitude when guys would approach me in that manner. That was from 16 to 21. 21 is when I hit the real world. Life thrown you many fast balls your way, you either gonna hit them or strike out. I was no longer a niave kid. I was woman in a objectifying world blind to other options by the need to survive and prove a point to the world. that I was independent and I could take care of my brother
After a while, the need to survive was no longer there. The bill were paid up for months in advance. My brother was in new clothes and shoes lookin fly and so was I. My life had no plan. All I did was sit at home answering calls from strangers. I negotiated firm prices. Set appointment. Give directions. Provide the service. OkThanksByeBye. Count my money for the 20th time. The cycle starts over and over and over every morning.
This routine lasted for years. It changed every thing about me. I was YOUNG AND WEAK. Strong enough to stand up and be a proud transsexual but weak because I didnt have life experience to tell myself I knew better. Sexual attraction, how I trust men, how i felt about myself all changed. I ignore the the wives because I didnt know them. I didnt look at myself negative like you may think. This was validation of my womanhood. A man attracted to me SO MUCH that he was willing to pay a portion of his whole check to see me. I was a goddess to these men. Yes they may have been saying the same shit to the other girls but they were saying it to me and I was taking it to heart. Not falling in love with every client but falling in love with the image I was portraying. No one praised me for being a transsexual. EVERYONE outside the business CRITIQUED ME. They tried to find flaws. Trannies were looking to see how they were better or worst than me. Female were looking to see how I was NOT them. Men were looking to see if they could tell. The outcome was nothing but critiques No encouragement. So the adoration these men gave was new. I soaked it up like a dry sponge throw into the Pacific. Escorting became a defense mechanism as well. It defended me against the tranny chasers. I wasnt falling for the dudes lies and game they played. You either paid me or you wasnt getting into my panties and damn sure not my hearts. If you did get shady after I let you in, I still knew that at least I got some rent out of the arrangement. The chaser didnt just leave me with nothing feeling played like tranny chasers can do. It was a sort of power and insurance. When you learn that this guy is dealing with every tranny in the city after lying and claiming you are the first or the special one, it didnt matter because he paid you. No hurt feelings . Just OkThanksByeBye
This wasnt healthy at all. I was in a state of stagnation. I was not using my natural god giving gift to be more. I was a robot in some way. It was destroying my personal relationship and destroying the dreams I had before the business.
It took a while and many conversation with many different people including clients to see that I was content with being a complacent whore. No euphemisms. No sugar-coating.
I had to make a conscious and difficult decison to change my life and motivation. I decide to go back to school and finish my degree. I made a plan that is coming together. I cant say that im 100% out of the business but i can say im 80%…lol. I gradually started taking ads down. I started taking few new clients. I got a bullshit job making 10 buck a hour. Yes I am alway scared about if i will get fired again for being trans BUT escorting got me to a level to where im more passable so people dont suspect anything. Now truthfully, I do feel so stupid at work making 10 buck and hour, when a client calls with 250+ for the hour. That just felt idiotic. Sometime i would stick to my guns and stay there but sometime I would play ill and come home and make that money. I eventually learned the importance of not worrying about it. Later on down the line, I enrolled in school. So over a span of 2 years. I have progressed. I use escorting only when it dire now. Not as a sole means of survival. Yes it hard because I cant spend how I use to but i have more free time and less constrictive plans. Regardless my life is moving in a new direction that I am proud of. I cant say when it will all be done BUT I cant say that it will be done soon. I was nowhere near saying that 2 years ago. Now i notice that now that Im tryin to live right, God is bringing so many blessing to me. People who support me and praise me for the positive not just how I look or how big my cock is…lol They praise me for being me, flaws and all… not some passable mudane tranny or sexy hooker
Listen to this video.
Side note: I am not the best writer so there will be mistakes in my writing..lol DONT JUDGE ME. I tried to go back and proof read over time. I should get better. Thanks
- Holy Hookery! (pinkbananaworld.com)
- Former Female Escort Tells All in New Self-Published Memoir titled “Sex, Drugs & Being an Escort” (prweb.com)
- Former call girl now escorts hookers to Jesus (today.msnbc.msn.com)
- The Elliot Spitzer scandal’s true victims | Melissa Ditmore (guardian.co.uk)